Once upon a time there was a beautiful little girl with long flowing hair that was as long as she was tall,her skin glowed pale pink in the cool breeze, her steed was a large Elephant whose lumbering steps made a ballerena look clumsy.

   This was the fantasy I had as a young girl about an unknown girl, and as I grew older she turned into a clestial beauty that every boy loved and all the other girls wanted to be friends with, she had no pimples, she was slight in figure, and never had problems in school. In short she was everything I wanted to be but wasnt.

  I bring this up today because yesterday was  to Raw, this Girl has now grown into a woman with two of her own babes, my nephew and neice (whom i hve never met)

  Yesterday was her birthday and the day which for many years was the cause for many heart ache.

  I met the little girl who turned into a woman just when I was to be flush with the birth of my youngest Daughter, when I met her she was beautiful and graceful just as my dreams knew she would be.

  But how quickly dreams turn into bitter reality, she grew up fairly close to me although no one knew it, but my dreams could not be farther from the truth....

  Beauty most times can only go skin deep, Sometime during her growing up she resented me, resented that i stayed and she was placed in another loving famimly who loved her beond what any one else could imagine, but yet it was I she resented.

   .....Your sister called!  this news was delivered while I was still on cloud 9 with the birth of my own beauty, within a short time I was to meet her, and although it was a strange meeting I was pleased to meet her. It wasnt until the summer of the same year that I had her visit my home with my family for a week that I was sure there must have been a mix up.

  She was bent on mudding up the calm waters with my whole family She wanted me to know that my other sister (with whom she said was increadibly close to) was taking drugs, that she thought my uncle was gay and that she thought that my life was one she might like to live.

   It started out nice as far as could be expected she moved into the guest room that I spent many pained hours getting ready just for her, and progressivly got worse from then on. My husband was the object of affection and any time she could be in as little or no clothing she was, I watched her young son as she was on holiday you know. I heard about how hard she had her life, her father drank and her mother loved her Brother more. And she had a strong urge to find our father (who knows what he might have to offer?) Soon the week was over and she left without another look over her shoulder to see the mess she left, but before she drew out her sword of dissapointment she looked sweetly and my Jim and told him that not to worry she could have the sons and proceeded to look at me and smile.

    Bon Voyage!!!

  That was almost 9 years ago and it has taken me a very long time to get over that visit, sometimes i am not sure i am,  I still have festering wounds over her sharp barbs, after getting as much as she could from my family and then some she left to her other family.  One day I was told she was to marry she had found the man of her dreams , I attended her wedding and was surprised to meet the man with whom she  was going to spend the rest of her life with was very drunk and was hardly able to stand straight, nor was he willing to look any one in the eyes. There was no wedding cake as it wasnt thought of. It was a very sad state of affairs, I went home with a very heavy heart for both my dreams of a fairy princess and for my long suffering mom.

 No one expects life to be ugly or unkind, nor does any one want that for any one else, so I wish Shelly (where ever you are) great happiness and health, I wish your children great successes and increadible grace, and one day I hope to meet them, your son I knew only as a very young boy.

  Happy Birthday Shelly Dawn I hope life is what you make of it.

  I know that this isnt what was expected when I was to blog, but I was feeling so melencholy yesterday I had to get some thought out of my head, Please understand.