Any doubt about which neighbor was concerned about Daisy and reported us to animal control has vanished.  Nosy Rosy next door came over to see if I noticed the 200 lbs of halibut that were on my front porch (yeah, she's not real bright) and tell me how worried she was about it being outside for hours.   I was gone for maybe 45 minutes when it was delivered. 

She asked about where the bunny was since she's not in her cage and I said she's in the roses.  Oh really?  Well I looked....are you sure she's ok?

UGH

I had to bite my tongue from saying yes, I'm sure she's fine.  Animal control was here and said she was just fine.  *bonk*

I almost wonder if she just sits and looks out her window and didn't think we were caring for her?  She can't see her pen from her house so I don't know why she'd think that.  Perhaps I should call her everytime that I feed and water her?

She's also upset at me that we don't feed all of the strays.  Sorry, not going to.  If I could have this spring we could have cleared out the bushes and shed that they live in.

This morning as I was taking the kids to daycare it sputtered and died.  I coasted off the side of the road.  We at least got halfway to daycare.  So, I have all 3 kids with the older 2 in charge of themselves and their possessions, my backpack, the diaperbag, and a 20 lb turkey.  Yup, a turkey.

Mom and Dad sent us 2 big boxes full of halibut to store in our freezer so we needed to get rid of a turkey and cook one.  So I was taking one of the turkeys to the DCP. 

I'm hoping it is just out of gas.  The gas gage doesn't work so I go by miles.  I mentioned earlier in the week that I was getting close to needing more gas but I didn't want to only partiallly fill the tank because that really messes up being able to go by mileage and I could make until payday just fine (today)

Paul had my car *somewhere* and when I got in it next I noticed that the odometer had been reset.   I figured he had filled my tank for me and when I was going to pick up film last night I decided to go take pictures of the sun shining through the forest fire smoke.

I called him after I dropped the kids off at daycare and was walking to school and he said that he never filled the tank and the odometer must have just been bumped. 

Cross your fingers and toes that it's out of gas and not the fuel pump that has been acting finicky.

Well, I've packed up and moved the old blog over here to our new home.  How do you like it?  Just like any move, I'm sure I'll move things around a little  once we've been settled for a while.

I didn't realize how long it had been since I had blogged anything.  I'll try to not let that happen again.  If you are interested in an update, keep reading :)

Finals went really well, (except for our critique of our portfolio for photography, but in the end it all worked out) and I ended up with a 4.0 for Spring Semester and on the Dean's List.  WOOHOO!

My last final was on Friday afternoon, then Monday morning my chem class started.  Half a year's worth of chemistry in 3 weeks.  Yipes.  Not only that, but the chemistry department participates in ACS testing so this wasn't like any other summer class that the professor could pick and choose what was on the final according to what was lectured about during class.

Our professor had no idea what would be on the final.  The last week we had to switch professors to one with a completely different lecture style and who doesn't normally teach the Chemistry for health sciences courses. 

I did nothing but eat, breath, and sleep chemistry for those 3 weeks and it paid off.  I got in the 99th percentile nationwide on the ACS.   As long as you attend class, turn in assignments and participate through the course and if you get in the 90th percentile or higher on the ACS then you get an A in the course. 

Right now I have just under a week of anatomy left and then a 5 day weekend.   Before the second half of the chem series.    I have a lot of studying to do this weekend and the first part of next week while trying to finish up my PowerPoint presentation as well.
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Yes, it's taken me a while to get in and update how things went over the weekend, sorry about that.

I passed the EMT course!  I got 92 on my written (I wasn't concerned about it, and the questions I missed aren't ones that I would have concentrated on while studying) and was 4th to do my trauma assessment.

I was so nerveous going into my trauma assessment, so much was riding on the day.  I kept hearing the advice of our coordinator and everyone who has gone through the course before saying "verbalize everything.  If the tester doesn't see you do it and you don't say you did it you don't get credit"  So, I verbalized.  Everything.  Everything I did and how I was doing it.  I didn't just say "I'm taking your blood pressure now, I said "I'm going to take your blood pressure--going up by palpation, down by auscillation."  I wasn't concerned about time, and I knew I'd be more likely to remember everything if I slowed down a little and just kept talking.  I was right.

Then I was the bystander to hold the head of the next person to come in.  After she was done our coordinator came in and pointed to the two of us and said "you two failed your written, you have 10 minutes until you retake it"

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

My heart sank, and could tell I was on the verge of tears.  She came over and gave me a hug and said I'm sorry, you passed and did very well.  She later apologized and said that she didn't think I'd react that way.  I told her that now it's fine, I can take jokes and there have been several ongoing jokes in the class so it wasn't like it came out of nowhere.  It's just the class really means a lot to me.  Looking back, it's funny.  Then, not so much.

When I did my medical assessment she was the tester.  Great.  I saw her and I kept hearing her say that I failed and couldn't focus.  I nearly forgot OPQRSTI questions.  I remembered just in the nick of time (18 seconds left after I finished asking them)  The coordinator told me that made her nerveous, she was worried I wouldn't remember what I forgot.  I laughed, said see how it feels?  I did it intentionally.

I was done and on my way to Mesquite by 10:30 that morning.  YEAH!

Monday night (Monday still feels weekendish to me) I blew a couple of pictures up to 11X14 size and was very excited that they worked.  It is an awesome feeling to see something you created blown up that big.  They look even better mounted.  The downside is the frames I want to mount them in are way out of my price range.

All in all it was a great weekend.  I got recommended for state testing, and had a great day in Mesquite with my brother and his family, and my big assignment for photography that I've been stressed about worked well.  The amount of stress that is gone is unreal, I feel like I'm already past finals week even though it's only about 10 days out.

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Tonight was our last night of lecture for the EMT course.  Everything we have had to do to get us to this point no longer matters.

Saturday is the beginning of the end (good or bad)  If we don't pass the written exam with 80% and do our practical medical and trauma assessments picture perfect we don't get to test for the state.  In 3 months we've learned an entire textbook full of technical protocals, guidelines, and proceedures.  Now is the time I need to be able to pull all of the information back out of my mind.

If I pass on Saturday and am able to test for the state, everything is wiped clean again.  Our instructor is the best in the state and has a large certification rate so I at least know that I have been taught by the best so far.  I'm stressing, nerveous, and just want Saturday to get here and get over with so that I can be home in the evenings again.

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In a group conversation about various parenting experience an acquaintance asked "am the only one with a horribly average child and I don't think it's the end of the world?  It seems everyone either has exceptional children or horrifically delayed children and that's all I hear about"

I understand her sentiment, I am frequently involved in conversations of how bright, smart, or athletic little junior is and they can become tiresome conversations.  I have recently decided that no child is 'average.'  Charlet entered the first grade far behind most of her peers with a fear of reaching out and trying on her own.  She has conquered the fear, and passed up many of her peers on reading levels.  Concepts recently introduced that many of the concrete thinking kids are struggling with Charlet immediately understood.  She has the self motivation to keep herself busy instead of always needing to be fed what she needs to do. This 'report' was not an assignment but something Charlet sought out to do on her own during centers.  Other children were sitting around and visiting while holding open books in their lap and Charlet got a book to learn about 'seahosis' and then wrote a report about them.

Charlet is exceptional!  Yes, she will probably exit the first grade within the average range as far as reading levels are concerned but she is far from average.

I've always been able to find the exceptional in people, and now as a parent it has been more finely tuned.  I try not to brag about my kids too much, although I am sure I do, but I can't help it because I have exceptional kids who are anything but horribly average. 

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I've enjoyed the feeling of being easy to reach that having a cell phone has given me.  I feel a lot more comfortable leaving my kids in someone else's care when I know they can reach me at anytime.  Almost everyone who has my cell number also knows the times that I am in class and generally doesn't call then.  If someone does call during class I know that it is usually an emergency so I will slip out of class as soon as it is convient and call them back.  Paul will text msg me during class if he needs something that he doesn't want to interupt class for and that works really well.

The other night I had a phone call that went something like this:

Me:  Hello
Them:  Hi!  What's up?  What are you doing?
Me:  Not much, may I ask who is calling?
Them:  Well, DUH this is Lyle!  Is Julie there?
Me:  No, I'm sorry but you've got the wrong number.
Them:  No I don't, where is Julie?
Me:  There is no Julie here, you have the wrong number.
Them:  I do NOT have the wrong number!  WHERE is Julie?
Me:  I don't know, I don't even know who Julie is because you have the wrong number.
Them:  I DO NOT HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER, JULIE GAVE THIS NUMBER TO ME!
Me:  I'm sorry sir, you have the wrong number I need to go now.  Bye.
Them:  JULIE!!!!

Fast forward to during class, Lyle calls again and leaves a message.  And again.  And again.  And again.  Each time my phone vibrates during class I instantly worry about my kids until I know for sure everything is safe with them.

Yesterday I was talking to my nutrition professor and my phone rings.  I open it long enough to see if it is someone calling because of one of the kids and it says unavailable which is where Lyle calls from.  So I ignore it.  Several times.  Then he sends me a txt msg!  Good grief, what is it going to take to get rid of Lyle!  I was through asking my questions about our assignment that is due and was explaining to her about Lyle since my phone kept vibrating and I kept ignoring it.  As soon as he stops calling she says if he calls again to tell him that she is Julie and she'll tell him that she's not interested in talking him. 

As I am walking to the daycare my phone rings again.  This time with a number I don't recognize.  It's Paul and he had to borrow someone else's cell phone so he could try to get a hold of me since I wasn't answering when he called from work.  I told him why I didn't answer the phone and was laughing to myself thinking about us ignoring Lyle and commenting on what would could happen if Paul listened to all of the message from Lyle.

I think when I next talk to Lyle I'm going to explain it to him once more and then if it doesn't work ask him if he will please tell Julie the next time he sees her to make up a different fake number to give to guys that she doesn't want to talk to again.

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I think Arizona has the right idea with not following Daylight Savings Time.  Years ago there was a need and that need was met by the creation of Daylight Savings Time. 

In the same way that LP records and 8 track tapes were replaced by audio cassettes and CD's I believe that DST should be laid to rest as a time we look back on.  No longer are farms at the mercy of the sun to be able to get all of the necessary chores done, we now have artificial lights.  The need for the time changes has passed and we should allow Daylight Savings Time to pass as well.

Of course then we'd be missing with tradition and an entire nation (with the exception of Arizona) would have to adjust.  Human beings as a whole don't adapt to mass changes easily, even if that mass change is eliminating other changes.  How would we ever remember to check the batteries in the smoke alarms and check on our fire extinguisher? 

Perhaps there still is some need, the need for predictability and tradition.  Tradition gives us a sense of who we are, where we came from, and even where we are going.  I have to wonder how many lives have been saved because of DST reminding people to check the safety devices in their homes and finding old batteries or expired fire extinguishers.

I'll relent to the fact that DST has been around for many years and will be for years to come.  It might just take more caffiene to get me through the next few days until my mind and body agree with the clocks in our house.

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The Vatican announced the death of Pope John Paul II today. 

The variety of responses I have seen is astounding.  Catholics around the world are mourning, people who blame his leadership for the abuse scandal are rehashing those events, many Muslims have been praying for him, aethiests question how some can consider him to be a direct link to God, and some are using this time to learn about the man at the helm of the Roman Catholic church.

I have a love of sacred tradition and have been learning about the traditions related to a Papal death and choosing the next.  My condolensences to those who loved and followed him.

Pope John Paul II opened the way to increased relationships between many religions.  His ability to visit the man who attempted to murder him in jail is a wonderful example of forgiveness.  In many ways the world is a better place because of his example.  May he rest in peace.

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Flat Stanley is a children's book written by Jeff Brown.  It is about a boy named Stanley (yeah, you are shocked I know) who becomes flattened when a bulletin board falls on him.  Stanley overcomes the downsides to being 4 feet tall and 1 inch wide with a wonderful attitude and the realization that he can do many wonderful things.  He can slip under doors without opening them, he has an adventure as a kite, and even catches burglars at an art museum.  For his vacation his parents send him to a friend's house in an envelope.

Charlet's class all made their own Stanleys are sending them out within the week.  I'll report back more about Stanley's vacation when he comes back home.

If you could mail yourself anywhere in the world for the cost of an envelope where would you go and why?

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Happy Birthday!

It's that time of year again, and everytime someone wished me happy birthday it was a little bittersweet.  The little reminder that I was putting a lot of weight on whether or not Paul remembered my birthday or forgot again.

It's never been about the birthday for me, I never had big birthday parties when I was little and often Dad had to be gone for training.  It was more that him forgetting was a sign of everything else going on. 

I have class tonight until 9 so we're not going to do anything and I'm ok with that.  Being remembered is nice :-)

I usually do more self evaluations and looking back over the year around my birthday than I at New Years.  So much has changed over the past year that it's like I am a completely different person.  Going to school has changed me in ways I never imagined.  Feeling good about myself has spilled over into other areas of my life as well.  I'm not sure I can think of a single year that has brought as much change in who I am as this past year has.

None of it has been easy, some of it has been very scary.  Yet I know that I am not at the end of the road yet and the big changes still lay ahead. 

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Seatbelts

They really do save lives.

You can hear something so often that it becomes deeply ingrained, yet you don't really *get* it even if you understand and believe it.  Yesterday I ran 14 hours on the ambulance including during a heavy hail storm that left 2-3 inches of slushy hail on the freeways.  We had 2 hours of back to back calls of cars rolling over but no one needed to be transported because they were all wearing their seatbelts.

One SUV I don't even know how the driver got out of the vehicle it was so smashed and while she was emotionally shaken up, she refused to be transported because physically she felt fine.

So please, so me a favor and wear your seatbelts.  Put your children in carseats and make sure they are installed properly and are appropriate for their height and weight (age doesn't matter much with carseats, size is more important)

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The Lernean Hydra

I have long believed that in everyone's life there are labors or feats that to them seem Herculean.   Some are life changing, some make a difference in the lives of others, and some are only important to us.  That is my Lernean Hydra. 

Among the overgrowth that we call a yard there is a very large thicket of wild roses.  They are beautiful for a short time in the spring and then not so pretty for the rest of the year.  Our yard had been neglected for many years before we bought the house and the thicket has grown and overtaken the side yard.

Fall of '04 I took my clippers and cut the small branches that were on the outermost part of the thicket.  I emerged with several thorns and many scratches, in the hopes that I at least took the first step towards taming the beast.

Little did I know that wild roses are much like the hydra, only with more than 9 'heads'  For each branch I cut last fall there are now several sprouts coming back in it's place.  It now extends into the lawn and beyond the edges of where it had grown the last few years.

Unlike Hercules, the location will not allow me to burn my hydra and I doubt that fire would be as successful with foliage as it was with the Lernean Hydra.  I am not yet sure how I will rid my yard of this thicket, as everything I try only makes it stronger and thicker but I will defeat my hydra.

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Beware of the Ides of March

Not every March 15 is filled with tragedy, but if something bad happens in March it is going to be within a day or two of the Ides of March.  I wonder how much of it is subconciously self-inflicted since I can't think of anything bad happening on or around March 15 until I learned about Julius Ceasar's fateful day.

Perhaps I tested fate last night by thinking to myself as I got ready for bed "this day has gone incredibly well considering the date"  How could I expect fate to pass up such a perfect opportunity?  The phone rang early this morning with the news that our new tenants were no longer interested in renting the apartment.  It's not as horrifying as having your friends and colleagues plan and execute your murder so for this year I will choose to be grateful that the Ides of March passed by without a knife in my back.

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Photography

Because I am not a very artistic person the only class that I could find that would give me the arts credit I need is photography.  This is the last semester that the University is teaching photography with black and white film, using the darkroom.  Next year is it being transferred to the arts department (it's a communications class right now) and taught digitally.  I'm very grateful that I got the opportunity to take the class as it is being taught now, and as soon as we don't need to rent out the basement apartment I want to turn it into a dark room.

My first time in the dark room we did photograms, and they were a lot of fun (I still need to scan this in, I'll post it later)

Switching from photograms to film was quite a leap for me.  I don't know if the problem was in the picture taking (it was a very bright day taking picture of a dark shadow and light sand) or the developing, but by the time I got to printing this roll of film the lab assistant tried to help me push through the faults and come up with a good print but it is still very over-exposed and blurry.  I still like it because it gives me a good frame of reference of where I started at on days I get discouraged.  I would still like to take a picture with this same composition, but we have had very stormy days and the park with the swingset facing the correct direction isn't a convenient park for us.

Our next photography assignment was synthesis.  We had to use 1, 2, but not more than 3 of the photographic elements.  This is the assignment I started to see photographs instead of just snapshots when I decided on a subject.  The assignment required 2 photographs and I couldn't decide between these 3 (the first 2 are the ones I turned in)

Our next assignment is portraits, and I'm struggling with lighting.  I got a good photograph of Charlet with short lighting and the day after I printed it we were told that portraits needed to have their eyes open so he knew that we knew how to capture the eye sparkle.  This is the portrait that I can't turn in.

On this same roll of film I got some others that won't work, the one of Charlet and Mike has 2 people and Kaede's has too busy of a background.  Both shots need to be printed darker to achieve true black.  I hope the sun cooperates with me being able to reshoot some of these tomorrow.

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The Road Not Taken

by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

As I look back over the path my life has taken I realize that most of it is 'the road not taken.'  Most of that was just the way the cards fell as I made the big and little choices of my life, and some of it the choices that life made for me.  It wasn't until two years ago I consciously made the decision to take the road less traveled by.  It took me a long time to realize that while being a Mother and Wife are very important parts of who I am, there is another part of me (that was just 'me') that was missing.

I knew what that part of me wanted to do, but I was scared to leave what was comfortable and safe.  Friends told me I couldn't do it and shouldn't try.  Paul would shrug his shoulders and say whatever.  Maybe everyone was right and I couldn't do it.  I kept my wishes to go back and finish getting my degree mostly to myself.

When Kaede was around 6 months old, I finally got the courage I needed.  I realized that even if I didn't do it for me, I needed to follow my dreams for my kids.  So (still not telling very many people) I called the school, filled out all the forms, made all the arrangements I needed to and held my breath by myself. 

It was official, I was accepted to the local university and needed to come in and talk to a counselor.  It didn't feel real until the first day of class, and I still hear constant discouraging remarks from many people IRL but I have the support from those who matter most in my life and that's all that matters. 

So now I'm on my road less traveled, and frequently reminded of it as I sit in classes full of 18 and 19 year olds and listen to professors that graduated from high school the same time I did or hear the neighborhood mom's whispering about how I am being selfish.  I am not yet very far on this road, but yes it has made all the difference.

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