So, I got my schedule for the next 2 weeks.  I only open once and several mid-shifts with way too many of them going until 5.  Until 5 puts all 3 kids in daycare for a long time, and isn't worth it to me money wise.  I'm going to have to closely track how much of our daycare bill is because of Hogi Yogi and how much of it is for other things and compare it to what I bring home.

I'm back to I don't know if I should quit or not, but I think I'm going to work all of January and then reassess things in February.  I'm not the type to give something up the minute it starts to become not convient, but at the same time I don't want to try to make something work that is affecting my family negatively or isn't going to get better.

I also don't know if I should take the evening statistics class or try to drudge through online.  Taking it in the evening would either up our daycare bill (again!) or really mess with Paul's sleeping schedule.  I do have serious doubts about 'getting' math from a text book though.  *sigh*

I do have a couple of people who feel very comfortable with stats who said that they would help me, so maybe I'll be ok.  Maybe.

School doesn't even start for a few more weeks and it's causing me stress.  At least I know the stress will leave once I figure out a schedule.

It's days like this that I wish I could say "Mom and Dad, I'm not sure what the right answer in this situation is, can you help me out?"

The 26th I worked first crew with the ambulance.  I'm very glad I did, we were busy all morning and I finally got some decent patient care time in (I'm almost half way done!  woohoo!)

While were out on runs I got to do real things!  Not just taking a set of vitals in the back of the ambulance as we are transporting a patient to a care center, not just running and getting things from the ambulance, but actually doing things.  Not doing them as the paramedics are watching every step I do, but doing them on my own because they trust my skills.  It's been hard getting many shifts in with my schedule, especially in December, but it feels nice when several of the shifts have been with the same paramedic and I now have her trust.  Of course now I probably won't work with her again for a long time, but that's not the point.

It felt wonderful for them to ask me for a BS level and just want the number, not watch me do it. 

I'll leave out the part about the oxygen tank getting stuck on the gurney.  That wasn't my fault, it just landed in my lap.

Remember my rush job "can you take our pictures for Christmas cards?" 2 weeks before Christmas?  Well, turns out she likes the picture so much she wants it blown up as big as you can, at least 16 X 20.  Unfortunately I'm limited because I developed them on a rush through a sub-par place and the scans will only print 12 X 18.  I'm thrilled that she wants one that big though :D  yeah me!  And to call me back after the fact about it is even cooler.

First of all, a warning.  This is going to be a multiple blog night, starting with Christmas day.

23 hours of our Christmas day was great.  The kids had fun, we saw almost everyone in Beaver and it was an overall nice day.

Mom and Dad gave us commemorative coins from 9/11, and it was kind of bittersweet to see the money tree at their house. 

The money tree is a tradition that Grandma and Grandpa had done for years.  They would take a roll of lifesavers and wrap a brand new 5 dollar bill around it, then wrap that in wrapping paper and put a hook on it.  Each package got a name on it and hung on their Christmas tree on Christmas Eve night.  Christmas day we had to find our name on the money tree.

It was lots of fun hiding other people's names so they would have a harder time finding them, and teasing the people who couldn't find theirs.

Mom has said for several years that she wanted to continue the tradition when Grandma and Grandpa were no longer around to do it, and this was that year.  Even at Grandma's funeral Charlet asked where the money tree was going be.

My name was on the tree twice this year.  Once from Mom and Dad with the brand new five dollar bill, and once from Grandma and Grandpa with one of their 2 dollar bills.

Grandpa never would spend any $2 bill that he got, he always said that if you never spend this you'll never be broke.  Grandma had a $2 bill in her purse when she died.

Christmas Eve as everyone (the brothers) were going through Grandma and Grandpa's house, they found a lot of $2 bills.  Enough for all of the grandkids, so Grandma and Grandpa helped with the money tree for one more year.  A roll of lifesavers, a note, and a $2 bill.

As for the last hour (literally) we were coming into town and volts light came on.  Uh oh.  We're passing Enoch maybe we'll be ok...

Or not.  The alternater completely gave out on  us as we were pulling off of the off ramp and left us stranded.  Luckily we have some angels who also happen to be our neighbors who came and towed us home.  The car still isn't fixed, but the gift of angels next door wasn't too bad either.

A little bit of history.  For as much as I dislike some of the people I work with, I love who I work for.  My bosses are wonderful.

So, I turned my January schedule for the ambulance and there are more days/week than there have been (yeah!)  Including almost every Monday, which they are counting on me to open at Hogi Yogi.

Per my post a few days ago, I don't think I can cope opening with K 3 days a week.  I really, really don't think I can.  It's not fair to me, the kids, or Paul.

So, I get a phone call from my boss tonight asking what the ambulance schedule means and if I can work at all one those days.  I felt horrible telling her no.  *sigh*

I need to put my time and effort into what is going to move me forward in life.  *sigh*  I feel absolutely horrible.  She was counting on me and I had to tell her no.

I want to do the ambulance long term though, and I'll be finished with Hogi Yogi as soon as I graduate.

*sigh*

Going back in time a few weeks to something I was going to blog about....

Charlet:  "Mom, what's a virgin?"

Me (inside):  WHA...?!?!?!?!?!?!

Me (outside):  What did you ask?

Charlet:  What's a virgin?

Me (inside)  crap!  that's what she asked *sigh*

Me (outside):  It's someone who hasn't had sex

Me (inside):  Please, please, please don't ask what sex is.  Please give me more time to prepare for this.

Charlet:  That doesn't make sense Mom

Me (inside):  Crap!

Charlet:  Because why would some Santa's had sex and some haven't?

Me (outside):  What do you mean?

Charlet (pointing to a Christmas decoration):  Well, like that...it's a virgin of Santa Claus, just a small virgin.  It just doesn't make sense.

Me (inside):  WTH is she talking about?

Turns out she meant version, not virgin.

Ooops.

Paul left work at 2 AM this morning, drove past the school to see if anyone was in line yet.  They weren't so I hit the snooze button a few times then got into the shower and then went down. 

I left the house at about a quarter to four, ran past Maverick for some donuts and there was a line when I got to the school.  Colleen and 2 girls I didn't know.

Vikki was nice enough to show up about 5:30 and let us in.  I am #2 on the list!!!!  WooHooo!!!!

Unfortunately, I just got an email from Vikki saying she is concerned about the lack of UNIV 1000 but when I called her back and told her that Deb (the science dept counselor) had waived it for me she said that it would be ok.

I'm still nerveous about that 'ok'

The nursing department has been known to tell people something is ok before and then not follow through, so I'm not completely confident.

But, I did it!  I'm going to be a nurse, really and truely be a nurse.  WOOOOOO

So, part of my 'weird place' I've been has been work.  There are 2 girls I work with that drive me COMPLETELY insane.  I'll refer to them at Stupid Girl K and Stupid Girl J.

Now, generally stupid isn't a word I like to use when referring to specific people but sometimes it's really needed.  I think I'm going to start blogging my daily struggles with them as therapy (I'm off a lot of next week though)

Anyways, I'm debating how much I really want to keep working there.  It's not the ambulance that I've wanted to do for a long time, it's making sandwiches.  I can do that at home for my own family and without the frustration.

It seems that there are always a few stupid people around, and I'm sure I've done some things that have occasionally put me in that category.  Normally I vent about stuff and 10 minutes later I'm fine.  Not with K and J.  I use up all of my patience at work not going nutso and come home irritable and short with my family.

That's not right.

As for how this applies to photography?

Well, my Hogi Yogi checks are going into a seperate 'do not touch' account that is saving for photography equipment.  It will take me forever to save for the stuff I want without them, but I am really questioning whether or not it's worth it.

If they called me right now and told me that they wanted me to work 2 first shifts a week on the ambulance I'd quit Hogi Yogi in a heartbeat, but my shifts with the ambulance aren't guaranteed and for the most part it's as a transport team.

I think I'll take my week off (I do work 1 day next week) and when I come back I'll try blogging my frustrations away and see how it goes.

Now, I can't have a photography thread without some pictures so here's my latest.  I tried to get all 3 together for my New Year's cards (yup, not even pretending that they are going to be Christmas cards) but Kaede didn't like that idea.




The closest I came a were a few like this:




It wasn't a total waste though...












Now if I could just stop cutting people's feet off.

It has been so very long since I've posted and so much has happened.

Then I started putting off blogging because I had so much to catch up on.  Instead of playing catch up I'm just going to move forward, perhaps with an entry or 2 to explain things.

I've been in a weird place lately and trying to sort things out.

I'm DONE!  as in all the way done with  my pre-requisites.  I thought this day would never happen.  Many people IRL thought it would never happen too.  Now, I want to go egg their houses.

I thought I'd be releaved, but I'm scared.  I'm getting up super early tomorrow to go turn in my application and I'm scared.  I'm scared that I won't get in for Fall of '06.  I'm scared that I will get in for Fall '06.

I'm releaved I'm done, and wishing I had more to do 'in my comfort zone'  I'm ready to be done with school, but afraid to move on.

I'm worried the blonde will be in our class.

I'm worried the 3 of us who want so desperately to be in the program together won't be.

I'm upset at how they are handling admissions.  We shouldn't have to plan and plot with our Survivor like alliances.

We'll see what happens tomorrow, but one thing is certain -- I won't be sleeping much tonight.