Ring...Ring...

"Hello"

"Hi Mom, is it ok if I bring Jess over tonight to meet you guys"

"Sure Ben, that would be nice"

"Ok - we are going to catch a ride home with Dad"

"Ok Ben, see you when you get here"

Jess, short for Jessica is our son's new girlfriend. We have been hearing bits and pieces of her for the past couple of weeks, so I was looking forward to finally getting to meet this little redhaired girl.

I was somewhat concerned, as we had gotten fairly close with Lesley, Ben's last girlfriend, who he had been going out with for over a year, but I was happy to give this new girl a chance.

Poor little thing was nervous to meet us as well! But she soon relaxed and realized that Jamie and I are not anything to fear. We had a good visit with her, and she kept up with our trail of questions nicely. We all went out for dinner, and then Jamie and I dropped her and Ben off at one of their friends places. I like her. Sounds as if she has had a rough go of things, but is handling it well. It will be interesting to see how long the relationship between her and Ben lasts.

So as I mentioned in a previous post, Ben clipped his own wings when the motor of Blaze blew. Since that time he has been looking for a new vehicle. Luckily he had money saved so he was able to buy something when he found it.

Well he found it! Sunday we drove him to Nanaimo, the next city over to have a look. Monday he went again with Jamie to give the guy the money, and drive his new vehicle home. A little red mazda pickup with a canopy. A very nice little truck , 5 speed, nice and clean inside and out, and had been looked after very well. He got a good deal, and was thrilled to have his wings back.

Monday, after they got home with the new truck, nicknamed little firefly.... Ben had to go to work, so he didn't have much playing room with his new toy.

Tuesday (yesterday), he hand washed the truck and made it look all pretty. Even went into town to one of the car wash places to vacuum it all out. He then headed to Duke point ferry terminal to pick up Jessica from a trip to her Dad's. They were then going to go into Nanaimo to Montana's for dinner and then to the theater to catch a movie.
I had a funny feeling about him driving up there... but pushed it aside.

Fast forward a few hours.....

My brother came down for a visit, and arrived at our house at about 7:00 pm. after being at our parents house earlier in the day for a visit with them. I sat with Jamie and Rod until about 10:30, when I decided it was time for me to sleep. I am still fighting this cold/flu bug and had a headache most of yesterday. Leaving Jamie and Rod to continue on with their visit I headed to bed and to sleep.

I woke up this morning at 5:00 am as is a bit later than normal for me. Went into the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot, and saw a piece of paper on the counter. Not remembering it from the night before, I picked it up - a note from Jamie.

"Bev, If you should wake up I have gone to Naniamo to pick up Ben. P.S. I have my phone. Love forever Jamie"

at this point my stomach starts to do flip flops...

There is a line drawn under the above, and more to the note below.

"Hi Babe, We are home again. Ben's new truck has been stolen last night from the parking lot by the movie place by Montanas. I'll see you when I get up. Love forever Jamie"

What?!?!?!?! Ack!!!! Poor Ben!!!!!!!

And now I am just waiting for Jamie to get up so I can get the rest of the story. He will be up I would think in about 10 minutes, so I am going to end this post here so I can talk to him. Much more of this story to come I am sure....

We are back in the coffee making business!

We did have an old coffee maker stored, and Jamie brought it out of storage - but we soon figured out just why it was in storage!

Drip - - - Drip - - - Drip... ummm this is just not working! Jamie was running late so had to leave the house to get to work - he was going to stop and buy a cup of coffee on his way to his first site of the day... so this left me to wait alone for the coffee to finish up.... Drip - - - Drip - - - Drip... This was taking way to long! So I decided to boil some water, and hand pour it through the filter, and then just use the coffee maker to keep the pot hot.

Finally I had half a pot, and decided this was plenty for me to get my day going. I poured a cup, put the pot on the coffee maker burner and came into work myself.

As par normal I got busy at work, and soon forgot about the cup of coffee I had poured and only had a few sips out of. When I remembered the forgotten cup and took a sip... Bleaaaa... it was stone cold. No problem I still have a couple of more cups in the pot in the kitchen. Wrong! Yes I did have a couple of cups in the pot... but it too was cold. The burner was not working! So I gave up.

I pushed both makers to the side of the counter (the original didn't work one and the one out of storage), and went back to work.

Jamie and I went into town after he got home, and bought a new pot. This one is as basic as a coffee maker can get. An on button and off button. No clock or timer. Very basic, and very cheap! Maybe it will last longer! $12.00 - I think at this price we will get another, and leave it in the box, just in case we have another morning - I don't want to work episode.

So our son and his clipped wings....

Ring - Ring

"Hello"

"Hi Mom... ummm ... errr... funny story."

"Oh Oh"

"I was driving to go get Jess (new girlfriend), and blaze started making a funny noise... then another noise, and another, then a click and a big cloud of black smoke. .. now it is on the side of the road, and don't want to start"

"Oh no - ok phone dad - he is working close by - see what he says and then phone me back"

"Okay"

Ring - Ring

"Hello"

"Hi Mom, Dad isn't working close afterall, but he said it sounds like a blown motor - he is going to come here after work... I am going to go to Jess's house till then."

And so on the conversation went. To cut a long story short... Blaze got towed home and yes it is determined that Blaze indeed does have a blown motor. And thus our son has clipped his own wings. Although now he has another vehicle he is looking at, and if not this one he will soon have another. Lucky for him he has some money saved so it is possible to get another.

Today is our potluck dinner, and I am so not ready, so I cannot linger to long here today. I do have more to tell you about this year's halloween walk... but that will have to wait until my next post.

What is up with the fact that coffee makers break down at the most inconvenient times?!?!?!

Last night as I do most evenings I set up the coffee so that all I had to do was flip the switch on this morning.

I come in to my office and dig into doing some work... 20 minutes later I head into the kitchen, grab a mug off the shelf and go to pour coffee. Nothing - Notta - Not one drop! I have a look and yes the light is on so yes I did really turn it on, yes there is water and yes there is coffee grounds in the filter - but no coffee! 

I mean seriously this thing was working fine yesterday afternoon when I made the last pot, no indication what soever that there was going to be a problem this morning. If there had I could have had Jamie have a look and fix the problem, or even bought a new one - but nooooooo. So now here I am early morning and no coffee. PFFT. I am hoping that the 'old' coffee pot is still kicking around somewhere, and Jamie will know just where to go to get it when he wakes up - if not then he will need to stop on his way home from work and buy a new one.

So now that my day has gotten off to a 'dry' start - I am noticing that the air is changing outside. It is starting to smell like fall, with a bit of a nip in the air at night. The summer is winding down.

Jamie and I have been going into town the last two days, and we will again tonight, to visit with Niko. Brittany will be back home on Friday so we will not have to go in then. Niko is Brittany's furkid. Only about six months old this very sleek black cat, is a great cuddler. Something about him almost makes me want to go in hunt of another furkid myself, of the feline variety.... but with 3 dogs, and 1 cat already I really don't want another.... although.....it is tempting!

Saturday we are hosting a family potluck. I have been wanting to do one for awhile now, but with the unrest that had been going on, it was not possible.... so I will do it on Saturday, before the nice weather ends. Family gatherings are hard to plan now with everyone's work schedules, and as it is for this one our son will have to be at work...so he will miss most of it, or at least will be done work in time to catch the tail end of things. But if I wait to plan when everyone is free these events just would not happen. So now I just pick my day and hope the majority of people will be able to make it on that day.

So the last few weeks I have been thinking about this years Halloween walk. I keep coming back to the idea that I would really like to mix it up this year, and instead of having the walk follow our bottom driveway, have the walk go through the woods. Nothing more spooky that walking through unknown woods in the middle of the pitch black night! To take this route would mean a lot more prep work, and would take us a bit further from our house, but the end result might be worth it.... I need to sit down with Jamie and talk about this and see what he thinks.

October looks like it is going to be a busy month for us. Our anniversary falls on the 6th, Thanksgiving is on the 10th and I think we have finally set our once a year, get away alone together, holiday dates for the 11th - 18th and then the Halloween walk on the 31st. Pepper that with getting everything set for winter and work and we won't have a lot of breathing room - I am almost wondering if November might not be a better time to go away for a week!

Our anniversary falls on a Thursday, so we could sneak away for the weekend, and then go for the week in November before the Christmas rush sets in.... hmmmm - that just might be the road we have to take, and it might be the best alternative for us this year. I will have to run this by Jamie and see what he thinks.

Oh and I almost forgot - our son clipped his own wings! But I will have to tell you about that in my next post, as it is time for me to wake my sleeping hubby and see if we can get some coffee happening. Stay tuned! 

So as I sit here this morning, enjoying the early morning quiet I take that breath... and let it out slowly... praying that life will stay settled so we can enjoy the last couple weeks of summer.

.

"Ring Ring"

"Hello"

"Hi Mom"

"Hello"

"I'm just calling to let you know that I am going to the radio station after work"

The above is the phone call I received at about 7:00 pm last night. Going to the radio station - normally means I am going to do my show, and the show lasts from Midnight until about 4:00 in the morning.

I had the pleasure of letting Jamie know - as he was out on a walk with the dogs when the call came in.

Jamie stayed up to listen to the radio show... our son came on about 1:00 and the last Jamie heard him on air was about 2:30.

I was and am, totally exhausted and mentally drained I went to bed at 10:00 pm. To wake up about every hour as has been the norm for the last week. I finally got out of bed at 5:00 with a headache that would not seem to go away (although at this moment it is feeling better), I turned the coffee on, grabbed a couple of Tylenol Ultra, and went and sat on the back deck for some fresh air.

Our son's blazer was not home. He did not come home last night! Nor did he call to let anyone he was not planning to.

Jamie is off now to work, although I am not so sure he should be there. He is about 100 feet off the ground now, and beyond the quiet stage. This is not good! Jamie phoned to let me know that the blazer was again parked at the apartment building where friends apparently live. Which means our son stayed their last night yet again.... and did not work the early shift today. This means he either works at 3:00 pm today or he has the day off... I don't know which.

As for me... I feel like I am walking around in a fog. I am calm - but it is not the normal calm. It is like every nerve is sitting on edge waiting for the next moment.

Have I mentioned that I hate this? My mothers heart is broken, how can this child of ours be so disrespectful to the two people that love him the most in this whole world? I hate sitting on edge wondering -waiting - for the next moment. I hate that I know he is afraid to come home and face the music, particularly if there is a chance his dad will be here - I hate knowing that my husband is beyond mad and an explosion is sure to occur.

I keep moving forward... I stay calm... I wait...

Well it was a crappy weekend for sure. Jamie and I sat on the edge of a razor blade through all of it - to stressed to think let alone do anything to keep busy. We went over several scenarios on how we were going to handle this situation, and I think we have settled on the way we are going to go... but that will depend on the attitude that is presented to us.

This youngest child of ours (who if you don't remember is male and 18) - did come home after work last night... at about 11:30ish. However instead of having the house all lite up for him with outside lights on, and someone sitting up to make sure he made it home safe, he came home to a pitch black house with no one about. Although what he doesn't know is that in fact his father was keeping a watch... from our very dark bedroom balcony.

We had decided throughout the course of the weekend, that as angry as we are, explosions are not the way to handle this child of ours. Thus we agreed that we would not be about if he showed up after work last night.

Although I do not know for sure, I am pretty sure that he is scheduled to work again today... from 3 to 11 as par normal for a Monday. Which means that he will have a little more 'grace' time to live in his fantasy world. Jamie does not get off of work until 4 - and we have agreed that what we have to say to him has to be said together. When I see our son today, I will let him know that he needs to arrange his schedule so that he is available to sit down with Jamie and I to talk. This will not be optional!

Over the weekend Jamie and I put together a set of 'rules' and I have them all typed out sitting on my desk in front of me. These rules will be presented to our son - during 'the talk' - he will either agree with the terms we have set out... or not. He has two options... continue to live in our home under our terms or find his own place. He wants to be in the adult word... then so be it!

I will post here the terms we have written out... but not until they have been presented to our son.

How the rest of the day will play out... I have no idea. When we will have this talk, again I have no idea... will he stay or go, again no idea - but I will keep you updated so stay tuned.

When you look into the eyes of your child, and you see the light within fading and you know that their heart is breaking, you, as a parent will take what ever measures are necessary to help them move past this point in their lives. Such was the case last year.

Sharlyn my third born daughter was just coming to light that the 3 year relationship she had been in was ending, this coming directly behind a previous relationship that had also ended badly. For the sake of Sharlyn's privacy I will not go into details of these two relationships,... for really neither matter, what really matters was that one of my children was hurting and I needed to do all that I could to help move her past this point.

So when she decided to reluctantly give in to her friends and host a party... Jamie and I just knew that we had to do everything in our power to make it the best party as possible... for Sharlyn's sake. So putting our own thoughts on Halloween aside we accomplished what we set out to do... and that was to help our daughter move forward into the next chapters of her life.

It did work, for from the party and beyond 'Our Sharlie' started to return to us, and as each day past beyond the party, the lost smile, and the lost spark that was so known of her eyes, started to return.... to the point where today she is once again happy. The bad days of the yesterday are fading into the happy thoughts of the future. What parent could ask for more?

Parenting my children now that they are young adults.... is way different than parenting my children when they were young. There is such a delicate line... boundaries so fine, that they are not noticed until they have been crossed. As we celebrate the freedom of their adulthood, we at the same time we mourn the loss of their childhood.

This morning looking out the window across Dudley's yard - seeing the early morning sun cast it's rays into the maple tree, and the little birds who are busy finding food before the heat of the day sets in, I think to myself what a picture perfect scene this is. Jamie is still sound asleep upstairs, and the dogs are all happy, having had their early morning out, and early morning cookies...

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

The chorus to a song my grandmother used to sing when I was a small child. It is these few lines of this song that I come back to now in my adult world, and have done so throughout my life when I needed a little bit of extra strength to get through what ever was going on in my life at the moment.

It is never conscious... it just seems those words come into my mind all of their own accord when I need them. Perhaps my grandmothers way of being here for me - a nice thought.

This morning as I look across the picture perfect scene of the above, those words repeat over and over in my mind. Once again the timing is perfect for I need the strength today.

This morning my mothers heart is breaking as one more of my chicks is moving from childhood and is in need of help to move forward into adulthood.

I know that I need to do some things that are going to push this transformation forward - I know for a time that I will be hated for doing so. Even though  I know in the years yet to come, this child of mine will look back with appreciative memories of the harsh realities - it does not make this time any easier.

I have been here 3 times before, and hated each of those times as much as I am hating this one. Each time as much as I want to hold my child close and keep them in in their childhood a little bit longer, I know that I must for their own sake help to move them forward.

We have been going through some rough times with our youngest this week - details of what has been happening really do not matter at this point - they only serve to help all of us do what needs to be done and are not really relevant to this post other than it will explain to you why I have been so silent here these last couple of days.

Right now the hut construction, and the continuation of the hut story, is on hold. We have bigger battles on our hands right now.... but I know this time is only temporary ... in many ways the closing of a chapter in each of our's book of life. I know there is a new chapter ready to begin... and in that new chapter the new hut and it's story will continue.

But for now I need to nurture this mothers heart, and do what is needed one more time. Today I have to let go!

As well as the props previously mentioned we also had several bags of fake cobwebbing, which we used in various places throughout the walk, although all we could find was either fluorescent green or fluorescent purple we bought both, and each color looked very good in the dark of the night. This stuff comes in a big blob like form, but stretches out very thin, and a little goes a long way. We had some stretched on the front deck, from trees to ground, around gate entrances, in the graveyard from tree to cross and cross to ground. Sharlyn used some on her cottage around the entrance and decks. Plastic and construction paper spiders completed this look.

Sharlyn also had the inside of her cottage decorated for the party, including flying bats (paper bats hug from her ceiling fan) spiders, candles and various other items.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, Jamie and I wanted dark costumes so that we could move about without being noticed, but more so we did not interrupt the party... and throughout the night we did just that. Moving quietly through the shadows, checking on props to make sure everything was still working well, and replacing candles as needed. Throughout the night we heard several comments of ... "Did you see it?!?!?!" - "What was it?" -"Oh no there it is again" and thus is how we became to be known as 'Its'

The party was a roaring success with no problems what so ever, it was a very late night for everyone. The last guest left around 3:30 in the morning and Jamie and I were awake for the whole thing. Made for an interesting work day, the next day, for both of us!

To this day the party is still being talked about, and Sharlyn is being asked constantly if she is going to have another one this year. Again how can she refuse?!?! Will there be another Halloween walk this year? You bet!

Sharlyn has now moved on to a new job, and has a new boyfriend  which means new party guests will be invited as well as most of last years guests. It shall prove to be interesting and a challenge for Jamie and I to make the walk 'new' for everyone!

Some of the props will be put into play again this year, but in different ways, and there will be several new ones added, but those new props will not be talked about other than between Jamie and I until after this years party.  Sorry! I will give you one hint - and that is that the new hut will play an important roll.

Last year we had about a week to plan and create props. We had one day to set everything up before the guests arrived. This year we have had a lot longer to decide on what we want to do and how we are going to do it. However the biggest thing we learned with last years walk was that each individual guest brought with them the best prop of all. Their imagination! All we had to do was plant the seeds and their imagination took it from there. So again this year we will do the same.

We did take some pictures at various points in the walk, but sadly they did not turn out! This year they will!!!!

So that ends this portion of the story - my next post will outline how Christmas comes to play in all of this, as well as updates on the new hut construction.